Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Tribute To a Lost Loved One

I'm sharing this story because I've decided to be strong like my wonderful mama! Thank you for inspiring me! I love you, Mama!

I was going through some old things in my room today when I came across an old folded up piece of paper in my 7th grade backpack. When I unfolded it, I found the lyrics to this song printed on the page.

A few days before my 13th birthday, I lost one of best friends and my closest cousin, Nathan. He was barely older than me. I sang this song at his funeral.

Losing him was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my entire life.

I miss him so much.

For a long time after that, even though this was one of my favorite songs, I avoided it when it came on the radio for fear of extreme pain. It had been years since I had heard it.

I should have listened to him when he told me he didn't want to go swimming but I convinced him to go anyway. He was doing tricks into the pool and he asked me to watch but I got distracted. to this day I don't even remember how or why I got distracted, I just did. I blamed myself for a long time.

It took many therapy sessions for me to realize that it was time for him to go home to Heaven. He was the kindest, sweetest most compassionate person I ever knew. He was always doing things for other people. He had the most gentle heart. He was also one of the funniest people I knew.

I am so thankful that one day, I get to see him again.

I am so thankful that because of Heavenly Father, he will always be my cousin. My whole family is sealed together and I know he's up there, soaring through the sky, watching over every member of my family.

I don't think I'd have such a strong testimony if it weren't for his example that he showed me when we were growing up. Thanks to him, I learned to always forgive and love everyone unconditionally. I learned that at any moment, someone can leave this life. I learned to care and show everyone in my life that I care, and do everything I can to make someone feel loved.

I hope I make him proud when I act silly to try to put a smile on everyone's face.

Thank you, Nathan, for being such an amazing person. Until we meet again. It took me a couple tries but, this one's for you, cuz.