Sunday, November 27, 2016

Adventures with Ace and Milo!

Look at my adorable puppies! I love these two so much! I forgot Trevin took these pictures! I just had to share them. I just want to kiss their adorable faces!

I <3 Ace & Milo!

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Dear Stalker...

My therapist had me write this letter. It was quite the learning experience for me. I was able to let out everything that I locked up inside about what this person did to me. It helped me realize what kind of person I am and that everything that happened to me wasn't my fault. I tried to be the best friend I could to this person and that's okay. I now feel comfortable to share this story with all of you. Hopefully, I can help others from making the same mistakes I did with individuals that are similar to this person.

I also feel proud to say that I don't really think about this person anymore. When I do, it's very brief. She no longer has that power over my mind like she used to. I am happy to say that I do believe that this will be the last post I ever do about this horrible adventure.

Here is the letter. I had to cut some stuff out for privacy sake for involved individuals but, here it is. Thank you to all of those that helped me in my healing process! I hope I can help some people by sharing my story!

"Dear _____,

I am writing this letter in hopes to get over my PTSD of being your friend so that I can forget and move on from this mess. My therapist thinks that this will be good for me, I think so too. I have to say to you the things I’ve been meaning to say for years.

It’s been almost two years since I last saw you. I’ll never forget how you ruined my Christmas in 2014. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ever since.

I wish I’d never met you. There are so many things that could have been avoided as I got older if I’d never decided to be your friend. I gave so much of my life up for you, not that you care.

When we started to play together as children, I was already broken in so many ways. It doesn’t matter how, you don’t get to know that.

Even though you weren’t perfect and you liked to bully other children, I thought I could love you into being good. I wanted to be the big sister you never had. We understood each other more than anyone else cared to, and it made me love you like you were part of my family. I loved you more than anyone else and whoever hurt you was doomed in my book. You were the only person I cared to make happy and that often exceeded my happiness as well. I would have done anything for you and you knew it, you liked to take advantage of it.

The summer after ninth grade was the worst summer of my life; that’s when your relationship with ____ blew up. It was like a switch flipped in you. You went from being the number 1 person I wanted to spend my time with, to someone that my very existence could not stand to be around.

I caught you bullying people. I couldn’t believe that my very best friend could do that so, blindly, I believed all those things you told me. I believed what you and our friends were saying about ____. You can try to deny that you started the rumor that ended our friendship but you know that you did. (*I cut out the rumor, sorry). I didn’t want to believe that you did it but every one of our friends that I asked said that YOU told them that YOU were the one that spread that viscous rumor. I could not be friends with someone like that, someone that took pleasure in the pain of others.

I also know that it was YOU that told the counselors that I was anorexic even though I wasn’t. They told me that my “concerned” friend, ____ told them.  

After everything blew up, I cried almost the whole summer about what you did to me. I cried for years over what you did to me. It got so bad that I was terrified to go anywhere, do anything and make any new friends. I was terrified to have friends. I was even afraid for my life!

We tried to rekindle our friendship a few times but, you were still the same self-serving monster I grew to resent. I finally got sick of it and got the police involved. That was the best decision I ever made regarding our friendship.

The truth is, I forgive you. Not for you but, for me. I spent years never trusting anyone. Never letting anyone get close to me. I had nightmares about you all the time. I preferred staying home instead of going out with friends, I was miserable and the worst part was that I missed my so called "best friend". I learned that best friends don't do that to each other.

But, I forgive you. I accept the apology that I know I’ll never receive. I’m doing it for myself so I can finally put you in my past and never read that book again.

I’m in a good place now. I have a new best friend that has taught me what it really means to truly have a best friend. I have a wonderful, devoted husband that has helped heal my wounds. I have a great family, a great job, my writing is kicking off. For once, I am happy to be me. Fear of getting hurt is no longer looming it’s big, thundering cloud over me.

I am able to see and appreciate the wonderful blessings in my life without you leeching all that is good around me. In a way, I am thankful for this terrible experience. It taught me to fight for what I want and how to be a good person.

I know what it’s like to have a bad friend and a good friend so that I can discern the two and protect myself and others from getting hurt. A good friend means to be loyal. A good friend lifts someone up and doesn’t use them for personal gain. A good friend is honest and tells the truth; they do not lie.

I couldn’t imagine living life the way you do. I couldn’t imagine feeling so crammed by lies and fables. Honestly, it sounds exhausting. I hope someday you can turn it around and be happy, instead of inflicting misery on those around you. I hope you can forgive yourself and move on from what you’ve done to yourself. I hope someday, you find peace.

I forgive you for:

  1. Bullying people at school.
  2. Using me for everything.
  3. For asking my boyfriends out.
  4. For sending ____ and his friends to harass me at school and threaten me.
  5. For your aunt and grandma terrorizing my friends and family.
  6. For telling my friends lies about me.
  7. For stealing money and toys from me and my sisters as kids.
  8. For terrorizing me at (*place of work*) and blaming me for your mess ups because you were too much of a coward to take the blame. Let's not forget the numerous notes I found that you had taken about me and my daily life that I turned over to the police.
  9. For lying to ____ over and over and having him harass me where I worked so I had to be embarrassed when I got the police involved and they had to talk to my boss.
  10. For causing me to lose friends because I refused to see the type of person you are.
  11. For all the days I spent in my room afraid to leave.
  12. For playing me like a fool.
  13. For spreading rumors about me at school.
  14. For hurting my parents that loved you like their own, and my sisters so bad.
  15. For ruining Christmas for me in 2014.
  16. And many, many more.

My testimony is stronger than it’s ever been. I am stronger than I’ve ever been.

From here on out, I will not think of you. You don’t get to fill my head and control me anymore. I will not speak of you. I will not recognize your existence. From here on out, you are just the past. You are just a chapter, and I’m closing the book for good.



Thank you to all my supportive family and friends for helping me through the healing process! I love you all so much!


Adventures with Summer 2016!

Hey guys!

Most of you know that I have had a busy summer (writing and working). I am sad that I haven't been able to post as much as I usually do. So, here's a taste of my crazy summer so far!

July 4th:

So I snapped a couple goofy pics of Millie and her best friend. This was much funner than fireworks. Haha!

July 11th:
While Millie and I were on our lunch break, we went...Poke-hunting... I mean paid bills or some other serious adulting... Anyway, we found ourselves taking part in a pioneer tour! I wish I could have gotten more pictures but my phone was dying... from previously mentioned serious adulting...

June 26th:
I got to pet a wolf! Okay, he had a little bit of malamute in him but, check this guy out! It was awesome! And it took three of our staff members to do a nail trim. Haha!

June 21st:
I drew a smiley face on our whiteboard at work and slowly people kept adding to it. Every time I went back there, there was something new! It was hilarious. I had to snap a photo.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Tribute To a Lost Loved One

I'm sharing this story because I've decided to be strong like my wonderful mama! Thank you for inspiring me! I love you, Mama!

I was going through some old things in my room today when I came across an old folded up piece of paper in my 7th grade backpack. When I unfolded it, I found the lyrics to this song printed on the page.

A few days before my 13th birthday, I lost one of best friends and my closest cousin, Nathan. He was barely older than me. I sang this song at his funeral.

Losing him was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my entire life.

I miss him so much.

For a long time after that, even though this was one of my favorite songs, I avoided it when it came on the radio for fear of extreme pain. It had been years since I had heard it.

I should have listened to him when he told me he didn't want to go swimming but I convinced him to go anyway. He was doing tricks into the pool and he asked me to watch but I got distracted. to this day I don't even remember how or why I got distracted, I just did. I blamed myself for a long time.

It took many therapy sessions for me to realize that it was time for him to go home to Heaven. He was the kindest, sweetest most compassionate person I ever knew. He was always doing things for other people. He had the most gentle heart. He was also one of the funniest people I knew.

I am so thankful that one day, I get to see him again.

I am so thankful that because of Heavenly Father, he will always be my cousin. My whole family is sealed together and I know he's up there, soaring through the sky, watching over every member of my family.

I don't think I'd have such a strong testimony if it weren't for his example that he showed me when we were growing up. Thanks to him, I learned to always forgive and love everyone unconditionally. I learned that at any moment, someone can leave this life. I learned to care and show everyone in my life that I care, and do everything I can to make someone feel loved.

I hope I make him proud when I act silly to try to put a smile on everyone's face.

Thank you, Nathan, for being such an amazing person. Until we meet again. It took me a couple tries but, this one's for you, cuz.


Thursday, June 9, 2016

Introducing my upcoming novel: Ayla Rouge

Hey guys!

I am so excited to share this with everyone! I've created a new blog where I'll be posting weekly updates for my novel! My illistrator, Millie and I will also be posting comic strips to promote my book! Tune in weekly at !!!

Character photo's and first comic strip to be released: June 30th, 2016

Monday, April 11, 2016

A Year of Adventures: Looking back!

Hello Blogger! This month marks 1 whole year of internal growth. A year ago I decided to stop letting people push me around and allow myself to heal and do things for me. Because of this I have learned so many things:

1. I have the best husband in the whole world. He is so supportive of me and is not afraid to tell me what I need to hear. He has helped me become more confident and strong. He is my very best friend and if it weren't for him, I don't think I'd be anywhere close to where I am let alone, who I am today.

2. Books have and always will be my favorite things.

3. I can do hard things like write a book, lose 40 lbs and manage a Veterinary Hospital.

4. I am not afraid to speak my mind and stand up for what I believe in.

5. I have the best circle of friends that I could ever ask for that include both my sisters and friends that are just like sisters to me.

6. I can't be everyone's friend and that's okay.

7. I don't care about other people's opinions of me are anymore and that's okay.

8. I am a sensitive person and I'm not going to apologize for it.

9. I trust my Savior and know that everything is going to be okay.

10. It's okay to let go of stupid people in my life.

A year ago, I was depressed and was being stalked and bullied for the third time by the same person that bullied me since I was 6-7 years old. I was sick of feeling this way and was causing me to go into a depressing bottomless pit that I couldn't get out of. I don't know why I let her back in. I always want to fix people but now I know how ridiculous that sounds. I did what I could and now it's up to her. I just don't care anymore. For those that know me, they know that is a BIG step. I did what I had to in order to fix myself instead. I quit the job that I hated and applied to only jobs I knew I would love and now have the best job EVER with genuine staff that are just amazing people. I was tired of feeling tired and unhealthy so I started eating healthy and working out and lost a whopping 40 lbs! Writing has always been my passion and I have taken big steps in the direction of getting published (so excited!). I am so thankful for this last year. I have learned so much! I even gained a niece! Thank you to those that have helped me in my personal growth!

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Catching up!

It's been a while since I have written on my blog. I will be better at writing on it I promise! I have been so busy the past couple of months. Between my awesome job and my older sisters pregnancy, I have been busy, busy, busy! I'll fill you in:

October 30th:
The Breaking Benjamin and Shinedown Concert

You know how everyone has that one band they want to see before they die? Well, Breaking Benjamin was mine (I hope that doesn't mean I am going to die soon, lol). Trevin, Meghan, Stefan, Tara, Brandon and I had a blast. We got great seats, we were so close to the stage! It was awesome! These pictures don't really give the concert justice! I have video too but I new phone is higher quality so I need to figure out how to get the videos on my blog so you all can see them. Eventually. Haha!

It was pretty freaking awesome and a dream come true!

October 7th:
My baby Ace turned 1!!!! He got spoiled for his birthday. I love him to death!

 Some goofy October shenanigans!!!
 (I have way too much fun at work. Haha!)

 (I freaking love this girl! Haha!)

 (Chasing Stephanie with a fake rat at work. Haha!)

(My dog is so much cooler than me.)

 (Sometimes you just have to put yourself in a kennel.)

(My beautiful pregnant sister is the funnest to take candids of. She is so animated!)

 We are the Avengers! (If we can ever get the photo right. Haha!)

 (Trevin teaches us the best way to play crocket, however that is spelled.) "The farther your butt goes out, the better the shot!" 

 Me and my baby sissy, best friends in life, accidentally wound up in the same costume store buying costumes to Marvel's coolest best friend duo, Black Widow and Hawkeye. What can I say? Great minds think a-like! (Here's to another year as Black Widow. I just freaking love her!)

(My family and I have too much fun at Cornbellies. Haha!)

 (Cause everybody needs a random snail on a pumpkin.)

 (The day Amber was scarier than the actors at GNO. No seriously, she snuck up on one and got her to scream!)

(Tradition of being random at Denny's on our GNO's. The workers know us. Haha!)

November 9th:
My boss Dr Rivera's birthday and the official grand opening for his incredible hospital, Utah Veterinary Hospital!

November 14th:
One of my big sissy's baby showers!

 (It was so good to see my beautiful cousin, Haley! Oh how I've missed her so!)

(Ace struggling to eat his snack while mom accidentally blinds him with the flash on her camera. He puts up with me. Haha!)

November 21st:
Mugzi's friend baby shower! Thank you to my in-laws for being such a big part of this and helping me throw my fist ever baby shower!

 (Meghan's 3 oldest friends Megan, Tara and Rachel. These girls are incredible.)

 (My awesome mother in-law, Windy, and sisters in-law, Breanna, Makayla and Emma!)

I am so glad that I was one of the lucky ones with such an awesome older sister that took great care of me while growing up. Her big heart and caring personality have always been a great example to me! I'm so glad I could be a part of her new adventure as a mama!

November 22nd:
Sunday fun at grandma and grandpa Hasson's!

(Both my pups are mama's boys, but little Milo never strays too far from his mama. <3 )

 (It just cracks me up how Milo always lays out like this.)

 (Ace is such a good boy! He just loves everyone!)

(He hates getting his picture taken though. He always seems to know when it's coming. Haha! He gets really awkward. He must have learned that from me. Hahaha!)

(If there is a toy involved, you have their 100% undivided attention.)

November 28th:
The annual Brinkerhoff Christmas party.

I was so impressed that my husband, Trevin Hasson, got up and sang with the choir on his own!!!

(He's ready for his close up.)

November 30th:
Some Christmas shenanigans at Seven Peaks!
(This year was so much better without my stalker ruining it for me like she did last year. I've learned a lot this year and was able to feel the spirit since she was finally out of my life.)

 (I'm so thankful for this man right here. I am so in love with him it's not even funny!)

These were some crazy sled slides! And yes, I got a little camera happy with the fire. Don't judge me!

December 1st:
We were so excited to receive our floor mat for the clinic! 

December 7th:
The live Nativity!

 (I touched his butt when he wasn't looking... It was awesome!)

I loved the end of the Nativity. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I really wanted to feel the spirit this year and I felt it right here. It was incredible.

December 15th:
Heavenly Father gave our family the most precious gift!

My little niece Ava was born. She just makes my heart melt! She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I am so happy I get to be her aunt! I will always look out for her and watch over her! 

(I'd post pictures but I want to keep her safe.)

December 25th:
It's Christmas!

This Christmas was the best I have had in a long time. Instead of giving meaningless gifts to the people I love, I wanted to give gifts that meant something from my heart. I focused on my Savior and followed the spirit as Trevin and I searched for the best gifts for our loved ones. 

Seeing their smiles was the best gift I got this year. Especially when Trevin's parents and I got to surprise Trevin with the return of his dream motorcycle. Seeing his happy face made me cry. 

It was a great end to a fabulous year! 

Welcome 2016!!!